furturtle

a great website! he makes art and concert posters, and they're so well done. very creative and indie...check out the few that are from the rialto - heck ya :)

great film

i just watched this movie with julie and her niece elizabeth - great film. go watch it. it's hard to describe because the plot is simple, and yet the film is complex. and i don't want to give anything away :) but really, in my own personal opinion, well worth it!

woo hoo

concert posters coming soon from the following amazing men

as many of us are suffering from allergies this summer in Tucson

it definitely sucks but i still thought the cartoon was funny :)

becoming layne

i just watched Becoming Jane with Erin.  this summer has been filled with lots of jane austen and gilmore girls...something I would have been ashamed to admit even weeks ago.  i hear God inviting me to step into this part of me, to admit, and finally give into the fact that i am a hopelessly romantic woman.  i so greatly adore and believe in beauty, justice, truth, and love - and my life is so enriched by it.  several of you reading this will smile as you have so greatly helped me step into this part of myself that i have been so committed to ignoring and fought very hard against.  thanks for your love and commitment to me, and for helping me live more freely as the woman God created me to be, the whole sappy entirety of it. :)  so to go along with that idea, here's a lovely romantic photo of one of my favorite walks in indiana on a fall day

the most intense beer i've ever drank

for those of you who don't know, i am a HUGE fan of dark beers. im a stout drinker, through and through.  well, i went to the plaza (thanks lori) and got some stouts recommended by the woman working that night.  my trial of the evening, the Bourbon County Brand Stout, is the most intense stout i've had to date by far.  let's just im a Guinness drinker. it's like water to me, and this stuff is hard for me to choke down. 

the beer is aged in 16 year old bourbon barrels for 100 days, making the sucker taste like bourbon upon initial impact with the tongue.  the stout molasses flavor comes initially after you swallow. however, it does have a little bit of the burning sensation that comes along with hard alcohol after you swallow as well. 

well, im done being a beer critic for the evening. but if you're feeling bold, go try a Bourbon County Brand Stout from Goose Island Beer Co. (however, if you're out somewhere, have a DD as the stuff is 13% alcohol by volume)

lovely poem by emily dickinson

My river runs to thee:

Blue sea, wilt welcome me?

My river waits reply. 

Oh sea, look graciously!

I'll fetch thee brooks

From spotted nooks,--

Say, sea,

Take me!

coldplay is awesome live

much better than on their albums i feel.  they even had several stages set up around the venue so they could play at different places, like the lawn or the pavilion, rather than on main stage. they were very, very fun -- played the Monkees, and an acoustic set with a harmonica and steel guitar, and had a expensive, but great stage set...well done Coldplay! i didn't pay for the tickets myself, so i can't really say whether i would do it again if i was forking over the dough, but it was a great show. if you get the chance, and remotely like them, go see them

headed "home"...

but only for a week. it's weird because indiana feels so much like home. even looking at this picture, there are leaves are on the ground - it was october...this is what october is supposed to look like. there's grass, trees, and since this is the street right next to my house, pictured is the brick road i grew up on...ahhhh home.....but now sorta not.  

im a very, very nostalgic person, which can probably partly be attributed to where i come from.

the past is a big deal in south bend, not as much nappanee, but definitely south bend. where you are from and what your nationality and culture are, those things matter. i love that. its not so much like that in tucson, i feel (in white culture at least).  some of the judgmental-ness that comes along with being defined by your culture i don't miss, but i definitely miss the irish-ness of home, the serbian relatives, the eastern european food that inhabits most Midwestern food, and feeling more like i can stop. in tucson my life is generally more full and faster. things are a lot slower in the midwest (which can almost be annoying at times). 

however, along with the nostalgia comes the gift/curse of an amazing memory and without knowing how to put it, a deep soul. i guess what i mean is i feel things deeply (part of being a woman with a big heart).  i've had conversations with friends talking about being vulnerable (as opposed to keeping myself guarded and self-protecting), me being who God has made me to be, and letting myself feel pain, joy, grief, and love.  i generally try to avoid feeling extreme emotions because it has caused me shame and pain in my past...and lots of it.  i open up, and then get crushed.  i'll be honest when i say im not a huge fan of this pattern in my life.  not at all.  however, i would let satan win if i just shut down forever and didn't open up anymore.  so God's been talking to me about all this in the past few weeks, and now im about to go back to indiana...ironic?  for those of you who are probably reading this, you probably know that my family isn't an easy area of my life, well at least my parents....which could be the understatement of the century.  and lately things have been much more difficult.  ive been feeling the disappointment of their lack of communication, lack of involvement in my life, and just plain self-centeredness.  they never really knew how to parent me well, and im beginning to feel how sad that is.  but it seems like a rather inopportune time to being going back, as im not sure how to feel all this, stay my true self, and not lash out at my family.  

if you could pray :)  i know i will sure need it

-for God to be near and very apparently present

-im not sure what to fast for the Village's F-cubed on Friday, so maybe direction in that (b/c fasting food in indiana would be an offense to every person im with...and i mean my mom)

-that i wouldn't shut down my emotions and feel all the pain of being back, especially since i'll be coming home on my grandpa and grandma's 59th wedding anniversary, and then sometime visiting my grandpa's grave...so very sad

-that i could be disappointed with my parents and not take it out on them

-that i could have fun with my siblings, and know how to relate with my brother as that relationship has been very difficult

sorry this post is so long, but well, there it is! thank you so much for being for me, walking with me, and supporting/loving me so well.  see you all in a week or so :)

(but maybe ill post some pics of indiana in the summer - lightening bugs!)