So I've been thinking about Eric's sermon this week [which is true, but addendum, him talking about the Tower of Babel was from him reading from the children's Bible :) ] and then I found this picture...
Eric talked about how people were trying to build a tower to reach God, to be like God, and to ultimately try to "be" God as much as they could. They didn't want to be humble and admit that they were human, that they couldn't control everything and handle life on their own. I can't imagine the panic. All of sudden, no one around you understands you, and you can't understand anyone else. You're lost, frustrated, confused, and utterly freaking out. How do you get food? How do you barter with people for supplies? How do you talk to your friends?
I've been thinking about how I generally think I can pretty much handle myself. I mostly raised myself, besides the finances, and I think I get along pretty well. "Sure God, chime in whenever you want, but I'm mostly good" - this is my general attitude I think...
However lately, things have been falling apart - The Rosetta Stone software (losing money), my CD player breaking in my car, my Mac charger isn't working tonight, last night iTunes wouldn't play, the fridge was left open and all our food is spoiled, bills, debt, bills, I spilled my latte down my emergency break this morning, I feel like I'm disappointing a lot of people, the buttons on my phone aren't working, my car needed to be fixed last week (more money), my new CD player at home from Cori isn't liking my CDs....
All of these things separately are not a big deal - but together - they're starting to wear on me. And when I say "wear", I mean GRATE - like 10 grit sandpaper on a carpet burn.
I'm realizing how much I work to control my surroundings so they are comforting and work for me. I do worship being comfortable. I like my music working, my electronics to be fully functional....I don't like glitches. I hate things that I can't control or fix these things....
I'm not worshiping Jesus - the awesome God who raised people from the dead, who loved the most broken and messed up people, who stood for justice, love, and compassion - but I'm worshiping comfort, control, security, and myself - all the things I generally hate about America and Americans are so ever present in me - ugh.
Save me from myself God...
4 comments:
Wow, I hear ya, sister! That is a ton of stuff all at once. (side note: I liked your imagery of the sandpaper on carpet burn- ver effective...made me cringe immediately) I think God is dealing with me about "comfort zone" as well. :P I will pray for you as I also beat my fists in the air.
This was my verse for last semester (and probably will be for this one too)
"But as soon as they were at rest, they again did what was evil in your sight. Then you abandoned them to the hand of their enemies so that they ruled over them. And when they cried out to you again, you heard from heaven, and in your compassion you delivered them time after time." - Nehemiah 9:27&28
Welcome to stage two, "their enemies ruled over them". Which means you're moving into stage three :)
Hey, if you're lost you can look and you will find me. Time after time.
Thanks for sharing your heart, friend. I feel like that sometimes. I like having the steering wheel. I'll be praying for you. I miss you so much. I love listening to your honesty with your relationship with God.
thanks so much guys :) i really appreciate it
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