i've been thinking a lot about "home" and what that means - which this picture reminds me of. the song "Southbound Train" by Jon Foreman has inspired many of these reflections, but it's also been the result of feeling an aching that seems so utterly unquenchable. a C.S. Lewis quote always comes back to mind...something about how we're not home yet, so we are always going to long for it, but that it's silly to believe we're ever to be fulfilled here on earth (obviously I don't remember the exact quote, but close maybe?). i've been asking God to feel at home in Him - not Tucson, not friends, or school, or a future man, but just as much as possible in Him......and try as I prayed, today was not one of those days where my brain could focus. this was more like the thought pattern as i walked around my neighborhood this afternoon...
"my legs hurt"
"God-i love living in Tucson"
"i need to put Moriah's sheets in the dryer"
"my sweater smells weird"
"should I go to Luce tonight?"
"or should I go to the Sage?"
"what time do I need to leave to be at the airport on time?"
"which dress should I wear to the wedding?"
"my sweater smells really weird"
"my shoulders are tense"
"i like the sound my new earrings make"
and so it continued....i assume we all have times like today's walk, but on these days it's hard for me to cut myself some slack...but well, its life right?
ok - so I'm off to go play Landslide again on guitar. woot :)
3 comments:
C.S. Lewis, in his autobiography, said that that pang you feel is what he considers joy. The burning hurt/loneliness/longing you have to be somewhere else, because you're living life in part. But one day you will live and know in whole, and that pang is the closest thing to pure joy that we will experience this side of heaven.
yeah! way to go dude...:)
"my sweater smells wierd." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....I love that whole train of thought. You crack me up.
And that is interesting you are wrestling with the whole "home" thing- I was/am too, starting last fall sometime
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